"It's the 21st century, people.
Why in the world do we still have mornings?"
It's just so true. In a world where it's not abnormal for one person to belong to 5 or 6 different social networking sites and smart phones raise our children, why the devil do we still have to put up with inconveniences like mornings and cars without self-navigation?!
Where is my jet pack?! Why don't I live on a space ship?!
These are things that were promised to me when I was a child. "By 2011, we'll be taught by holograms and live on cotton candy clouds." That's what everyone said. And yet, I'm still taught by real life human beings and have to abide by the law of gravity. Thanks for all the false hope, guys.
While these predictions did, in the end, let us down, there are a few things which I believe we have (or rather, should have) moved past in this futuristic age we live in. These are things that people insist on holding onto when they should really be allowed to fall to the wayside along with payphones and 8-track players.
1. Mailmen. Listen, no disrespect, but how have we not yet eliminated this job? I don't see anyone delivering milk to my front stoop, and I don't want to see anyone delivering mail to that stoop. It's not that I have anything against these dedicated men. How could you hate someone who promises that "neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change, nor a nation challenged" will stop them from doing what they gotta do. In a time where I can't even count on free wi-fi in every public place, that kind of dependability is comforting. It's what they're delivering that really irks me. Mail, really?? What is even in that stack you shove into my mailbox day in and day out?? Bills? Advertisements? Letters? Has nobody heard of the internet?! For hippie's sake, stop murdering trees and send an email! Let's stop forcing these decent men and woman to drive around in one-door trucks and get chased by dogs. Let's utilize the world wide web.
2. Tollbooths that only accept cash. Let's get serious for just a second. There is an epidemic sweeping our nation and growing in prevalence with each passing rush hour. I am, of course, speaking of running tolls. Now, I consider myself an upstanding citizen, but I must admit that I have fallen culprit to this crime. The thing is I have a pretty hard time feeling as guilty as I am. I mean, really, state of Florida, how can you expect me to always pay my tolls when you will not include a debit card option?! I'm not one of those fancy-pants SunPass owners, but I also cannot promise to always have cash on me. And whats even worse is sometimes you want me to have exact change! Have you no understanding?! No mercy?! I don't remember the last time I spent a quarter, but you expect me to have 75 cents to toss in at a toll? I cannot and will not promise that. Now, if you install a card reader onto that toll booth I will vow to never stiff you again.
3. Cable boxes that don't act as DVRs. Alright folks, we all live busy lives. There is no shame is having a serious relationship with your DVR. That thing is a lifesaver. I like to believe that it's not pathetic to be so concerned for the safety of my scheduled recordings, but rather a courtesy to the real people in my life. I no longer have to schedule/postpone hang outs because my soap or the season finale of 90210 is on. We can totally hang out any time you want, because I know those juicy morsels of television are nestled safely in my DVR awaiting my return. I know you feel the same way. So why is it that cable companies continue to act like this is a luxury and not a necessity? Do not even try to sell me a piece of garbage that will only allow me to see a TV show--if it will not record said show I don't even want to lay eyes on it. Don't let the man make you a slave to TV Guide; stand up and fight for your right to record.
Can we not all agree that the continued existence of these things in our society is absurd and a slap in the face to jet pack enthusiasts everywhere?
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