Strange Stuff S(t)aturday
From now on Saturdays--or S(t)aturdays as the need for alliteration may force it to be called--will be spent discussing the strange stuff we as a society have accepted into our collective conscience. To kick things off I'd like to share with you a little bit of the long list I've compiled throughout my twenty-one years of life.
1. Kidz Bop. This makes me want to scream "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" while slapping the people that keep buying these CDs. Kidz Bop 20 recently featured songs from artists such as Britney Spears and Lady Gaga. Have we forgotten that Brittney has spent as much time strung out as she has sober, and that despite all of her millions Lady Gaga somehow cannot afford a pair of pants? The songs on this most recent installment of the Kidz Bop franchise talk about drinking, going to clubs, the scars left by lost love, and drag queens. Do we really want the next generation of politicians, teachers, and parents singing about these things on their way to third grade? Do we really not realize that a bunch of ten year olds are talking about grabbing their drinks and back, back, backin' it up on the dance floor? Am I really the only one totally weirded out by that??
2. Celebrities' salaries. A recent article by Forbes discussed Hollywood's most overpaid actors, and I can't say I was surprised by people like Will Ferrell, and Tom Cruise landing on the top of the list. These actors demand millions before agreeing to make a film--their salary is set regardless of box office profits. Whether the movie is a bust or a hit, they walk away with a pay check bigger than most people make in a lifetime. I mean, I get that famous people are mostly super attractive, but are they really $100 million dollars attractive? While they probably did spend $100 million dollars to get that way, I'm going to say that the answer is no.
3. Kissing in public. Alright, guys, let's be honest. Is there anything more uncomfortable than sitting next to two people who are gnawing on lips or nibbling on ears? No. There isn't. It's the worst. I mean, I get it, you're really, super, totally in love, and the only way to prove that is to swap as much spit as you possibly can. I'm just asking that you not make me watch while you do it. Also, please don't take pictures of it and post it on Facebook. My News Feed is not the place to flaunt your never-ending make out sesh.
4. Twilight. Here, we must enter venture once again into the No Judge Zone. I have in fact read all the Twilight books, and I did in fact enjoy them while I was in the midst of it. It's only after having some time apart from their inexplicable allure that I've gained some perspective. Now I can honestly say "WHAT THE HECK IS EVERYONE THINKING?!" Let's just briefly go over the plot. A girl meets a vegetarian vampire. They're in high school but fall madly in love with one another. He realizes he's a vampire who will always want to suck her blood. He leaves her, and she lays in the woods for a million years crying away her will to live. She starts to flirt with a werewolf who loves her, and repeatedly risks her life because that's the only way she can hear her long, lost vampire love's voice. He returns. She tries to sex him, and makes fun of him for saying he wants to wait until marriage. They get married when she graduates high school. They have a baby that almost rips out of her belly. It turns out the werewolf was actually in love with the baby, not the mom. Everyone lives happily ever after. HOW HAS THAT STORY MADE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?!
5. Nickleback. I don't even have the words for this one. They were named Band of the Decade in 2010, and I can only assume that whoever made that decision was under serious duress or very, very intoxicated. This video demonstrates what I'm talking about, but I'll be honest and say that I only made it through sixteen seconds before I felt too ill to continue.
These are just a few of the things that society will not, for some reason, admit are totally weird and not awesome. What do you guys think is undeniably strange but somehow manages to fly under the Good Sense Radar?
How about Victoria Secret commercials on prime time TV, can anyone say "soft porn"....How about not being able to buy kids clothes and shoes for 8-13 yrs olds. They do not need skinny jeans or hip huggers or high heels at that age. If the tweens experience young adult activities when they are tweens when they become true teenagers they will be looking for bigger and better. Oh...one more 8 yrs olds with cell phones....really do they need a cell at that age aren't they suppose to be with their parents for the most part except school.....just saying. Great article Megan, I pray there are more young adults that think like this so your generation can straighten out this messy world. I do however like Nickleback, maybe not the band of the decade but I do like some of their music.
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